Hemmm I personally feel like I'm having a bad day at work. What happened this morning has made me re-evaluate myself, looked back at my capabilities and skills, and wondering if I am even good at what I do? In some ways, I think it's great to relook at things in our lives to reconsider what we do. But at times, it's bringing me down totally. Sigh. Maybe it is not what I'm good at.
Know what I think I'm good at? Selling! I think everyone is a great sales person as long as they know the products well. I think I'm a bit too shy sometimes, and take a while to warm up to people. However, if I know my stuff I quickly overcome the shyness and become the queen of the event. I've tested myself on this, actually so I'm not talking bollocks.
No, I don't hate my job. It's a job with quite a good pay why should I hate it. I only hate the way things are sometimes, down to little things such as being in the office with awfully cold temperature which feels like winter time. Or how I wasn't able to argue my facts simply because I'm afraid I am wrong, or that I'll be making a fool of myself, or my boss for that matter. And that now I am having a back pain, that I have to stand around and photocopy evidence, or carry this heavy laptop and files while also carrying my overweight pregnant body. Also the fact that I am no longer comfortable in high heels because of my movement, and the weight I carry each day. Aren't these enough to annoy a lady like me?
The real challenge in work which was my initial motif for moving job? Yes, unfortunately it is in this job, which is why I am staying. The knowledge offered, is such a deep blue sea where you just have to search to find the contents. You learn, you meet, you connect, and evaluate situations. The worst challenge? When I don't know as much, and unable to stand up without the knowledge!
What I've had in mind since last week which I haven't said out loud, was whether I should stay on. Should I stay and do what I do now. Be patience, and it'll take me somewhere. Or, I walk out and walk into the same shit again, just a different company, bigger pay and bigger shit. Or I work harder now to make THEREDSHOES SOLUTIONS work, and one day it'll pay off? Maybe luck will come along the way and I'll never have to work for other people again? A good sign had come yesterday but we all know very well that life isn't always kind to you. But I also know that one day I'll see lights at the end of the tunnel and let's just hope it is not another train.
No this is not the hormone talking!
Diana Abdul Molok @ TRS