Tuesday, February 21, 2012

How did she do it?

"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I wonder how my mother raised the six of us, without going out of her mind.  She must have, at some point yeah?  But this was never brought up even when I was screaming at my child in front of her.  Ah well, it must have been because she could tolerate the behaviours that she could have six children if you know what I mean. 

Me, of all people is not someone with patience.  Be it standing in a long queue, waiting for a sluggish internet line and now, raising a toddler who tends to ignore every words I say.  She must have thought I was fooling around when I get angry because she had to look at my face first before deciding how to react (Read: pull a face, cry, scream in anger, or run and hide behind daddy or her nanny), 

Yesterday she took two mosquitos mat (which I think came from the dustbin) and put them in her mouth.  This was while I was fixing additional speakers to her TV.  Mind to co-operate much little missy?  I lost it, slapped her hands twice and screamed 'are you trying to kill yourself' at the top of my voice.  What did she do?  She ran to the kitchen to her 'rescuer', the nanny of course.  Yeppp, what I did was wrong, she didn't know they were poison but the thought of losing her to something stupid like this had caused much anger inside of me.

The other day she went through my kitchen cabinet and threw the onion basket onto the floor and messed up with the barleys.  This was when I turned around from her on a split second she created a mess on the floor.  Result?  I screamed at her and threatened to beat her up with a hanger.  She cried and looked scared.  Horrible mommy.  This was one out of 10,000 things she does at home that managed to get on my nerve.  Though I still love her unconditionally.

You see the point is, I absolutely look up to those mommies who can tolerate screamings, and undeniably 'stubborn' if I may say child.  Like I said, my mom for instance sure had a lot of patience.  I know and remember how we were back in the old days, and saw how she got upset over dirty clothes and homework.  Now I am in her shoes, I am sure I understand how she felt back then.  Oh I love you Mak.  In my case she may not be stubborn yet, she just doesn't understand the cause and effect.  Effect: might get beaten up by Mommy heheheh.  I am trying... still trying to build a lot of patience to raise this one girl and get her to understand why you can and can't do some stuff.  Allah bless my child.  And my Mak, of course. 


Norlida Binti Husin said...

true D....i really hope i can manage my anger, my toooo particulars.....
i am now trying to practise not to say "NO" instead saying the causes of an the action...

Diana Abdul Molok said...

betul!try not to say no is the correct way, instead tell them that you'll get upset if you do this and this. Ermm tapi boleh ke...perlu kesabaran yg tinggi dari menjerit 'NO!'