Monday, March 12, 2012

Monster in Law

Pernak tengok, the movie starred by Jennifer Lopez and Michael Vartan in 2005?  I used to laugh at the movie back then, because I didn't know the truth is that 'monster' in laws (MIL) does exist. Serius kelakar, even though the MIL (in this case who was the mother in law ) plans to continuously destroy the relationship were mean, but they were sooo funny. 

You know what's not funny?  Bila you know in real life, things happen.  Some people have superb relationship with their in laws.  Let's accept the fact that some don't for various reasons.  Maybe you bukan menantu pilihan, atau in laws you dah ada a certain type of criterias of 'menantu pilihan' that you are expected to fulfil.  Atau you sememang nya tak boleh get along with them for various reasons too. 

It isn't easy, especially if they disapprove everything that you do or say, and your lifestyle, and you can't agree to most of the things they say like a 'perfect menantu' should do.  For example, level kemanisan air, or nama anak, or how you have decided to raise your child, that you think cats will only cause alergy to your child, or the fact that you don't eat spicy food.  It ain't easy, and it becomes harder if your spouse isn't supportive of you.  The situation will normally worsen or become better once you have a child.  Again, due to various reasons. 

But you do know that it is too late to do anything, right?  You've already married the son or daugther, its kinda too late to turn back or run from the situation.  So what do you do? 

Susah... but I think you just have to learn to deal with it.  Terimalah seadanya.  Terimalah dengan secara positive.  Talk to your spouse about how you feel, but don't assume they'll be taking sides.  These are the two people who have raised and looked after him or her all his/her life.  You can't expect them to understand or agree with you. Try not to tell your spouse in a way that will hurt him, or make him/her think you're belittling his/her parent. 

Everytime some 'little' thing annoys or upset you, try to be positive about it.  Or not to think about it too much.  Speak to your closest friends who will understand.  Some who don't go through the same situation will not understand.  Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikulnya.  Some will only think lesser of you.  Some won't.  That's the truth. 

Nevertheless there are the people that you have to live with all your lives.  You just have to learn to deal with.  And this, is also the truth you can't run away from.

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