I had a very interesting conversation with my colleague today where we chat about marriage in general including your husband, in laws and the marriage itself. Kebetulan pulak, one of our colleague ni baru habis bercakap dengan husband dekat phone dalam tone yang agak marah. Rupa- rupanya style dia memang macam tu... hikhik... So it happens that right after that, kitorang bertukar topik kepada how to make sure your marriage work and lasts?
The way I understand it, make sure your marriage works before making sure it lasts because there are situation where you can stay in a marriage without love and in the end, you feel trapped. This coming from me who'd been married for 2 months, sigh. But whatever it is, I am doing my best to make sure that whatever I do now to make sure things work, will stay and I will do my best not to neglect my relationship with my husband.
I came across a website: http://www.marybuxton.com/ . It is apparently a couple therapy website and I found a sublink that highlights "The 7 principals that makes a relationship work". Have a read and you'll find it quite interesting. Give the stuff a try and maybe, just maybe, you can apply similar things to your marriage.
Whatever it is, ingatlah, try and enlighten your marriage everyday by doing something sweet for your partner. Doesn't matter if you're a husband or wife. Be creative, make sure that you leave a mark in his heart - but make sure it's a good one ;-) . Here's probably some of the stuff and some of the stuff that myself and two other friends told this lady who spoke to her husband just now! We told her try and improve slowly but do it before it is too late! There are too many women in this world and so very little men. Your man might just go elsewhere, to someone whom he thinks appreciate him more. :
1- Make a date with your partners. If you're a career person, make sure you block one day just to be with your family or the person you love.
2- Surprise him. Candlelight dinner at home maybe instead of those fancy restaurant.
3- Say that you love him!Maybe not all the time because one can get bored hearing the words knowing you don't exactly mean it. Kiss the forehead or hand while doing so.
4- Kiss his hand before going to bed. Maybe spend five minutes lying in his arm before sleeping everynight? Or 5 seconds?
5-Make him feel needed. Careful not to get too needy. There are time and places where you can show that you need him for some part of your life.
6- Pamper him one a while. Treat him like a king but just don't overdo it because he will 'naik lemak'. When that happens it's already a bit too late.
7- There's nothing wrong in buying him flowers like they do for us, or cards that simply says 'I love you'.
8- Avoid conversation that will cause stress or create tense between the two of you. For example if you have different political view, avoid talking about it. Also watch the way you speak to him.
9- Everytime he makes you angry, think of 5 positives thing about him. This will help overcome the anger. Trust me!
10- Sex, sex and sex. Have plenty of sex and make sure that both of you enjoy it.
So there! Ladies if you have moe suggestion, just keep adding ok! Share and it'll be useful to all of us.
Diana Abdul Molok @ TRS