"She was uncomfortable, not moany..."



Ayesha Amani at her paediatrician clinic.



Today I came home to a moany child.  Moany, tearful and frustrated.  Before I continue let me tell you that hubby and I have had several arguments about 'the right way' to bring up Ayesha Amani.  I kept on telling him that this is the best way to mould her, because she's learning and copying every single thing that you do.  I myself believe that this is the best time to show her when I am angry, and why, why she shouldn't do some of the things she was doing.  Hubby on the other side couldn't stand the angry side of me when it comes to her precious.  Must not raise my voice.  Must not scold the child.  I kept on saying (ah well quietly of course) that his action, will only turn Ayesha to be like his sister.  The ungrateful b!tch, who dared to tell her parents not to attend her graduation simple because they wouldn't accommodate to her request to bring her boyfriend's family home for 'adat meminang'.  Or because of some other reasons anyway, I wouldn't know because it is 'forbidden' to talk bad about his family.  In fact it isn't goo to talk bad about anyone anyway. 

I paid a lot of attention to her moaning and screaming.  Simply because it was Monday, and after a weekend with me she sometimes get angry at me in return.  Plus I scolded her quite a bit on Sunday because she messed up some of my stuffs.  And she was awake that same night from 2:00am, probably because she was sick, or simply 'mengigau' for being screamed at way too much (there were only the two of us at home then, because Daddy was out with a friend).  Took her outside to let out her frustration by watering our herbal pots, sweeping the floor outside.  She was happy for a while, and I saw my baby's right ear bled.  There was blood on her ear lobe and this was loads of them.  Mind you before that she had a small wound on her forehead, so when I saw blood in her ear I freaked.  I thought my baby could've fell and hurt herself so badly and that she was bleeding internally.  I felt sorry immediately and rewind all the things that I was mad at yesterday and the day before. Yeahhhhh 'cause I'm mellow like that *wink*.  Then I calmed and concluded that since this was on her ear lobe, it could be some scratching activities that caused it to bleed.  Couldn't see this clearly I must tell you she wouldn't let me touch her ear, or hold her still.  So we decided to pay our paed, Dr Tan a visit.

Dr Tan was a nice but very busy doctor.  We got there at the clinic at 7:20pm since the clinic was only behind my house we managed to get there quite early.  But there was a long queue and I was number 19. We decided to have dinner first, and Ayesha seem to be fine and happy.  The grumpy and moany little girl had gone *grin*, she just love the attention y'all.  Anyway, we managed to see Dr Tan at 8:30pm and his explanation had made me feel a little better.  He said it was some alergy reaction which she scratched to bleed.  He gave us some cleansing lotion and cream, and some alergy syrup (which they bottled themselves I couldn't get the name of this syrup).  We went home and applied the cleansing lotion and cream, gave her the syrup and she managed to settle for bed at 10:00pm. 

Anyway the point of this whole long entry is that, I am actually quite angry with myself that I couldn't tell what was it that causes her discomfort even before the ear was bleeding.  What's with the night before, I knew she couldn't sleep due to discomfort and I just couldn't conclude what was wrong!  She wasn't bloating, she didn't have fever, neither was she hot nor cold, but I knew she felt a slight itch when she had that fish I cooked for lunch.  There were also some rashes on her back and right arm.  This was obvious signs already that much more attention was needed.  For what it's worth, I am just thankful that it wasn't an internal bleeding due to falling, or that she poked her ears with something sharp.  I just feel bad, man oh man, for what I have speculated earlier about her nanny, and for even had the thought of screaming at Ayesha to stop moaning and screaming.