Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Breastfeeding selfie, NIP and bla bla

It was funny how selfie photo of a young mother breastfeeding her child went viral with very un-islamic comments about her.  It was even funnier that hateful comments were also made by fellow mommy netizen and un-married girls, bashing her selfie act commenting all the nasty stuff. I guess us Malaysian have nothing better to say to her than calling her act haram and embarrassing.  But what's sad about it was how some people started to condemn the ladies for nursing in public or NIP they call it. That's how shallow we are, relating the non-related stuff and beginning the hate war among us.

Anyway, my comments onwards aren't gonna be about Islam and its rules because I am no ustazah to do so.  I will write as a mother, a woman myself.

Yes, when you put Islam into context, there was nothing halal about the photo. I am guessing this includes any selfie act, breastfeeding or not... Men, when they want to fantasize, a selfie of your eyes are able to make them think of all the naughty stuff beyond it. That's just man being man.  The young mother probably did some provocation herself, that, I knew nothing about as I won't bother searching further comments by her.

But I found it pitiful that many of us can't forgive her as an excited young mother, in full support of breastfeeding and advocates NIP, someone who may have forgotten the Islamic guideline and maybe need to be reminded but proud to be breastfeeding nevertheless.  Knowing how challenging breastfeeding your child is, and how unsure I was about NIP at times, the ability to do both without giving the heck what people think is a victory for some.  So some mothers decided to share their joy, and selfie was one of it.  It was the same with mothers who share photo of their breastpump, frozen milk stocks, etc.  It was all self-pride and victory.

I don't condone the breastfeeding selfie act.  I wouldn't do it myself.  But give her a break, the lady went through 9 months of pregnancy, labour pain, and trust me breastfeeding itself is sooo sooo painful, so give her a break.  If you have something to say to her, or any mother, message her privately.  Let's be nice to each other shall we.

Anyway if you wanna ban breastfeeding selfie because it invites 'zina', let's ban any sort of selfie including duck face selfie.  Let's ban Dilwale, and all that crappy Malay dramas that get too intimate sometimes.  All of them, if you realise, invites zina too... Ok don't bash me, am just saying hehehe.

So let's forgive all and hope that nothing likes this happens ever again.

As for NIP, please don't get me started already.  If you have been to baby nursing or changing room at malls in Malaysia you would know.  Most of them are poorly maintained, small and smelly, misused and sometimes have male guests inside despite the sign 'no men allowed' on the door.  I had had my own episode screaming at a couple in Ikea, when my daughter was screaming for milk but I was embarrased to feed her in the nursing room because someone's husband was in there.  My own experience at one hospital, post- birth and attempted to breastfeed my twins in the baby ward while having male visitors stared despite all covered up, maybe perverted male visitors, maybe just curiosity altogether.  I would never know. But us, Malaysian, where breastfeeding was common in the old days, still have our men all excited seing a lady feeding her child using her breast!!! And she didn't have any of her body parts exposed while at it.  Ever wondered why?

My advise to you if you are against NIP and wants us ladies to feed in the loo, why don't you try and do that first.  See if you have any appetite doing so. Then post up a selfie of yourself while at it and then advocate others to do the same.  If that is acceptable by you and majority of Malaysian, then maybe you can push for the ladies to breastfeed our child in the toilet.  We might consider it, or might just consider calling you an a**.  Oopss forgive my language, I wouldn't wanna be one of them who calls each other nasty names.

Lets change the way we think shall we. Make this world a better place for everyone, start small by accepting small stuff. But if you choose not to accept, choose to look away.  It won't harm you.

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