Far Away

 

At this moment, while writing this, the twins are about 3 hours or more away from home.  From me.  When the twins were hospitalised at KPJ Kajang (the twins were warded due to Pneumonia, then was anemic and later was diagnosed with Rota Virus), I finally made up my mind that there's no way I was going to let others look after my babies until they are well enough.  I was suppose to get back to work on the 27th, tapi disebab kan kena tahan ward, I took a day off and was back to work on the 29th instead.

 

Susah la, it was a hard decision to make.  Please don't judge.  The twins are not well.  Zehra belum betul- betul pandai menyusu.  Adrina plak masih lagi mengalami severe vomiting.  Susu keluar ikut hidung, tersedak.  Susah hati bila fikir, camana.  Maid is not an option, well, it sort of is if my mom agrees to stay here with us.  I can elaborate panjang lebar kat sini kenapa I won't have a maid in my house anymore, but I won't bore you with details.  Not anymore for now anyway.  Nursery pun tak juga sebab buat masa sekarang they are prone to infection.  Nanti duduk hospital lagi.  Ya ampunnn minta jauh.  So that's how we decided staying with Tok (my mom) is the best option.  At least until end of June. 

 

I miss them, is all I can say.  Staring at empty cot, cute clothes, mitten and socks.  Allah knows how I feel and indeed, He knows best. 

Astro Collection Agent

Saja la kan luahan hati di petang Jumaat.  One fine day (not), I received a call from someone who claimed they are Astro's agent.  Nombor yang timbul when they called was almost like a private number - it was +01300.  Called twice, I didn't hear the first time because I was at the hospital for the twins' follow up.  I picked up the second time, curious siapa yang call.

 

Astro boy: (dengan nada kerek) Hello, boleh cakap dengan Puan Diana?

Me: Ye bercakap.

Astro boy: ye ha ni Puan ada tertunggak astro RM300+ ni (lupa berapa), tolong ye jelaskan hari ni jugak kalau tak kita potong.

Me: (Sentap sebab setahu I, takde plak tertunggak).  EH, bila pulak saya ada tertunggak ni ye?  Setahu saya tiap-2 bulan saya bayar (suara dah mula tinggi meminta penjelasan.  Of course, actually I yg salah sebab tunggakan tu berlaku masa I tukar to Astro Beyond and they sort of skipped one bill.)

Can't really remember what was said in between but I was demanding explanation for the bill and the boy was really rude.

Astro boy: Heyyyy puan. Heyyy puan.  Dengar sini.  Dengar saya cakap dulu, jangan menyampuk.

 

So when the boy started hey hey kan I, I mula la menggigil marah. I hung up, called Astro and demanded the agent number to complaint.  Harus lah komplen, I kan kaki komplen. 

 

I then called Astro customer service.  Turns out these are agents, and the answer given by Astro was, we do not have their contact number because they are not us (kes outsource la ni).

 

How can they not know who are the collection agent?  They were hired by Astro, right????

 

I demanded to speak to the supervisor or manager in charge, they won't let me.  I waited so long sampai putus line.  Tapi few minutes after that, the customer service agent called me back, and said that they will raise a complaint on my behalf, that they can't disclose the agent's contact.  Disappointing.  I know they won't log a complaint.  But the girl did explain how I had RM300+ outstanding and I was satisfied.

 

Thing is with Astro, they can never satisfy you.  Their service sucks.  Where I live, setiap kali hujan siaran akan hilang, kadang- kadang sampai sejam lebih.  I pernah call, demanded explanation and assurance from them.  Tapi of course, diorang monopoly the market, manakan mau diorang improve service.  I don't think they can't improve.  They just won't.  Masa dulu, bila diorang promo Astro Beyond pada I, one of their selling point was that it was going to get better when it rains.  Means kurang la takde siaran bila hujan.  But they lied.  Its all the same.  Yet ada hati tiap-2 bulan nak call I tanya nak extra decoder tak, sampai I tanya, if I add another decoder in the house, adakah signal akan bertambah baik? 

 

No.  The answer is no.  Beyond or not, it is the same.

 

And yet they have the guts to hire thugs to do collection for them.  Kalau kurang ajar tu, bukan thugs nama nye?  Come on, malu lah sikit.  Makan duit orang, and your service sucks.  Your customer service is bad.  Makan lah duit haram.  I berhutang, its my fault.  Tapi you don't have the right to speak to me like that.

 

 

 

Adrina and Reflux

Adrina Amani has a serious reflux issue.  Memang sejak lahir lagi.  All kinda tests were conducted including ultrasound to make sure there is nothing else is wrong with her, other than saluran dia yang belum matang causing milk to be pushed up her esophagus (eh betul ke eja hehehe).  In the end it was concluded that she has a severe reflux condition.  Due to the severeness, drugs don't do it for her.  She was prescribed Omeprazole and Motillium to manager her vomiting and reflux, but neither works :-(.  Boleh baca pasal reflux in premature babies kat sini: How to handle your premature baby's reflux

To manage her reflux pon dah buat all kinda things.  Paling menyampah bila doctors (yes doctors, we had been to many doctors for opinion) asked did you burp her?  Its like hellooooo this ain't my first child, I know the basics such as burping your child after bottle feeding.  We also tried reducing her milk and feeding her regularly.  Ni maksudnya to also tolerate her crying lah sebab lapar kan.  Didn't work.  Feed her 10ml, she vomits 10 right back at ya.  Ini lah sebab nye Mommy bermandikan muntah hehehe. 

The latest reflux management recommended by paed was this,

Feeding with Novalac AR or breastmilk + rice cereal.

Remember in this post ada cerita sikit pasal the anti reflux formula (AR)?  In the end doctor has advised that breastmilk to be fully eliminated from her diet.  Sad.  How very sad. Doc wants to see if her vomiting improves without the breastmilk.  You see, breastmilk ni sangat cair so for reflux babies, susu tu lagi mudah naik semula.  The AR formula on the other hand, has corn starch.  Ni yang buat susu tu jadi pekat bila masuk dalam perut.  Result?  Memang kurang sikit la frequency muntah dia.  Volume masih banyak bila muntah tu.

My EBM yesterday at 9am.  Simpan as stock for Zehra jer la.

I think doctor pon macam kesian, u know that my babies had been on breastmilk and tetiba bg formula.  So she said, try this, something that can be done but very rare.  She asked me to get the rice cereal and add half scoop into 2 ounce breastmilk.  This will help thicken the milk.  Again, in my previous entry, Milk, I mentioned this.  However this method doesn't work for Adrina.  She vomits less with the AR formula. 

As of today, vomiting dia masih banyak tapi  less frequent.  Kesian Adrina, tak dapat kebaikan susu ibu.  Nanti dah sihat tukar semula yer sayang :-( Please dhua that she will get better quickly, that she will outgrow her reflux in no time.  Till the next entry, taaa.

Milk

Saje nak story story pasal breastfeeding...This is the part when I tell you that breastfeeding wasn't a 100% success with the twins. Yes, it wasn't, things don't always go as planned.  One of the obvious reason kenapa tak berjaya direct feeding was that they were born premature, so sucking had to be taught, simulated.  One day diorang pandai, like, terer giler feeding, the next they were like mannn what are you trying to feed me, woman?  Macam diorang lupa gitu, boleh?  So I checked, hemm apparently macamana their organs, like how they forget to breathe, their intestine forgot to work, that's how they are with breastfeeding.  They forget!  Funny, eh?

Then one of them was discharged from the hospital, and I was running around like a mad woman, jaga twins sorang kat rumah and sorang kat hospital.  Not forgetting my toddler who was dying for my attention.  I got too tired to try harder, so I decided to feed Zehra (she was back first) using bottle.  With EBM, that is.  The same was for Adrina.  When she got home, I fed her using bottle.  This way, when both of them were back hubby could help with feeding during the night.  In fact, he can help at any time of the day.  Dah macam satu kebaikan pulak bagi I, sebab trust me, when you have two babies, two hungry babies, it is far too exhausting and too demanding to figure out breastfeeding.  Especially if it aint working out.  Oh, plus, I hadn't learned the technique to simultaneously breastfeed both hahaha.

So what choice do I have to ensure that they still get the best?  Its through the EBM...

And thanks to my most loyal companion, Medela Freestyle, I was able to express two hourly or sometimes on demand.  They are hungry babies, okay, my EBM stocks memang cepat sangat luak. 

Adrina, has a serious reflux issue.  While we are warded here at KPJ Kajang, the paed bagi kitorang 2 tin formula nama Novalac AR (Anti reflux formula).  Apparently with this milk, dia pekat bila dah sampai dalam perut je, so reduces reflux.  Hah, if one thing I didn't know that the formula is better for reflux as compared to breastmilk, sebab breastmilk kan cair.  I suppose sebab breastmilk takde molecules, kot.  Let's not talk science.  But of course, it can't beat the goodness breastmilk can offer.  Nutrient- wise of course it can't beat those of breastmilk! 

I tried giving the milk to Adrina, to help with her reflux.  So there, no more exclusive breastfeeding for the cenonets.  Yeppp, it reduces the reflux that's no doubt.  Did some reading on ways to manage reflux and one of the method suggested was to add cereal to breastmilk to thicken the milk.  Obviously that's not an option in my current situation.  Gila ke, dahla baby prem, usus semua pun belum matang.  This is when, milk such as the AR helps.  Paed told me ada dua brand, Enfalac and Novalac for the AR. 

Huh tapi if you talk about which one the girl prefer, it will be the breastmilk la kan.  I think the texture and taste make it more likeable.  I've never tried it myself so entahla betul tak hahaha.  Hehhhh but when I say they're hungry babies, I am serious ok.  Sangat lah...

Ermmm macam shit kan entry ni hahaha.  Takpela.  It works for me sebab duduk kat hospital ni bosan.  Till later.

Giving birth to the twins...

In this entry, I want to share my experience giving birth to the twins.  The unexpected delivery of the twins (well actually sort of expected).  It was sudden and full of surprises.  For me at least.  Cemas... cemas...

A week before I gave birth, my gynae told me to 'be prepared'.  Go book that government hospital you wanted, please, I don't want you giving birth in the car, too risky she said.  Make time, go to Klinik Kesihatan to get referral letter and book the hospital.  I still remember she said to hubby, "Tuan, bawak isteri pegi dapatkan booking.  Saya takut bersalin dalam kereta.  Kalau sorang takpe, bila berdua, banyak cerita.  She said that from the look of it, yes In sha Allah I will be able to perform vagina delivery.  So I went to get myself a booking, an appointment with Hospital Serdang's gynae (which was supposed to be on the 18 March 2013.)

However on the 8th of March, at 2 am my tummy started feeling funny.  Well, it was funny I actually blamed hubby for snoring too loud, causing me to be awake.  So I moved to the living room, and managed to get some sleep and wake up every half an hour.  I was actually fasting, sebab besoknya nak minum air gula dekat KK.  So I thought the discomfort was caused by gastric pain *grin*.

I woke hubby up at around 6 am and said, "Sayang.. I rasa dah nak bersalin...". Dia tanya, serius ke, jom pegi hospital if betul.  I said hemmm tak sure gitu gitu la how the conversation went.  "Nanti ayang siap-2 sambil fikir apa nak buat (as in nak terus kan pergi KK and cek air gula ke, or terjah je spital sebab kalau nak kira booking belum complete, their gynae have yet to see me).  Apa- apa pun we decided to send Ayesha to her taska first. 

From the taska, we were still discussing, KK or hospital?  Or should we go Columbia Asia and ask Dr Norshida?  Her clinic will start 8am.  Then nekad lah, ok kita pergi Hospital Serdang.  Sakit dah makin frequent, rasa macam nak buang air besar.  You can imagine the traffic lah, it was the time everybody leave for work.  At 7:30 am we were still in the massive traffic.  Rasa nak teran erghhh. Erghhh but tahan cool, BBM with the lovely girlfriends. 

Got there almost 8:00am, registered myself dengan muka cool with makeup and obviously they didn't take me seriously.  Duduk tak senang, berdiri tak senang, I waited for husband to come back from parking.  When he got to me, I told him, "abang, rasa cam nak teran dah ni."  There was nobody at the receptionist.  Hubby rang the bell and nobody came to us.  So he went to the security guard and said, "Takde orang ke, isteri saya dah nak meneran ni."  The security guard kelam kabut said, oh my, please bring me inside she said.  So masuk ke bilik pemeriksaan. 

Checked, already 6 cm dilated.  Bila doctor tu pusing, ambik something, told her, "saya seriously rasa nak push ni." She checked again, ya Allah, dah fully dilated she said.  And she's having twins, premature, our labour room is full, and paed is not yet here.  "Puan, tahan ye.  Kena tunggu paed.  You're having premature twins we need to be prepared."  I took deep breathe, in out, in out.  Istighfar, laugh about the pain, joked about the pain.  Sampai the nurses cakap, "Kagum nye, you can still istighfar and ketawa..."

So after minutes and minutes of "Hold it ma'm, our paed is not here yet..." Akhirnya at 8:51 am, the first twin came out.  Doctor broke my water, kemudian get ready mcm goal keeper.  Remembering how hard it was to push Ayesha Amani, I pushed really hard this time and bammmmm.  Meluncur keluar anaknye.  Sampai doctor reminded me to go easy hehehe.  I didn't get to see Zehra's face (first twin), because she was to be ventilated immediately.  They only asked me to quickly identify that she was a girl.

My beautiful Zehra Amani

For the second twin to come out, I didn't know what to expect - as in, should I be feeling contraction again, or how?  Waited and there it goes, rasa macam nak push again.  SO this time two doctors waited to deliver the girl.  Push and push and push bammmmm.... It was actually water, not baby.  Kesian doctor basah, so I said "Sorry doc..." Doctor said ehhh no no I don't need to apologise its her job!  At exactly 8:56am, the second twin was born.  I got to see her face for a few second and they took her to be ventilated too.

The sweet sweet Adrina Amani.

SO they were only 5 minutes difference.  And yes, memang rasa dua kali sakit :-)  But it was all worth it!!! I must tell you what it felt like to have not one, but two of your babies taken away immediately, and to later on see all those wires.  It was depressing, sad, heartbreaking.  Also to learn that you were the caused to their premature labour, you can't help but blame yourself. But I know it was for the best, and that they were strong girls and that they will be so eager to meet mommy they will fight for their lives. 

Anyway... They gynae told me that I had been lucky.  If I had not been (because I hadn't booked my delivery), then there won't be a spare ventilator, and Zehra wouldn't have survived.  Her lungs was week and was needing ventilator immediately.  Thank you, Allah for giving the opportunity to be with Zehra.  I was, indeed lucky.  Kalau tidak, mungkin tak dapat bersama anak- anak ini pada ketika ini.

Pelembut hati anak

A lovely lady called Mak Yam paid me a visit at the ward yesterday.  She shared with me doa amalan untuk pelembut hati anak.  Untuk amalkan hari- hari dan kucup ke dahi anak.  I suppose it is worth a try. 

SO here I am posting this on my blog for my own reference,

Baca
1. Al- Fatihah (1x)
2. Selawat (1x)
3. Ya Latif (3x)
4. Surah Assyura' ayat 19
Maksudnya:
Allah Maha Lembut tadbirNya (serta melimpah-limpah kebaikan dan belas kasihanNya) kepada hamba- hamba Nya; Ia memberi rezeki kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (menurut peraturan yang telah ditetapkan), dan Dia lah yang Maha Kuat, lagi Maha Kuasa.
5. Surah Taha ayat 1-5
Maksudnya:
i. Taa. Haa.
ii. Kami tidak menurunkan Al-Quran kepadamu (wahai Muhammad) supaya engkau menanggung kesusahan.
iii. Hanya untuk menjadi peringatan bagi orang- orang yang takut yang melanggar perintah Allah.
iv. Al-Quran diturunkan dari Tuhan yang menciptakan bumi dan langit yang tinggi. 
v. Iaitu Allah Ar-Rahmaan, yang bersemayam diatas 'Arasy.

The proper introduction

Ok as promised in my previous entries, here I am giving you a proper introduction of  the twins :-)

Meet the first twin, Zehra Amani.  Born 8 March 2013 at 8:51 am.  Her birth weight was 1.49 kg and was 42 cm in length.  Zehra means flower and Amani means prosperous, aspirations.  We decided the name suits her because she was oh so beautiful in our eyes when we first saw her.  We knew she was Zehra.

Zehra was ventilated for several days of birth and required oxygen support longer than her second twin.  Her lungs was, according to the doctor a bit weak thus requiring support until she was able to breathe on her own.  She also only started feeding after the fifth day, and was fed very little at first.  However to our surprise she was the first to leave the incubator, quickly gained weight and was only at the NICU for 28 days.  She was back home first, leaving her sister in the NICU.  

Here is the second twin.  We named her Adrina Amani.  She was 1.4kg and 41 cm in length.  We chose this name for her because she was always so smiley, so picked the name Adrina which means happiness.  She brings happiness into our home.   

 She was the stronger one then, according to the paediatrician.  She was ventilated for a day, and with oxygen support for 8 days only.  However her weight gain was very slow.  She couldn't tolerate feeding and has been having severe vomiting until now.  But she has gained weight well these days.  she is already 3kg, looking chubby and one happy baby.  Ah well, except for when she's hungry!

So there!  A short meet the twins entry.  Taaa.

Happy mother's day

Being mommy, we are granted superpower to be there for our loved ones, cook, clean and everyhing else that a wife and mommy gotta do. We grew extra hands and legs hahaha (to indicate that we can multitask la darling), and even when we're sad we're still able to cheer for our loved ones. Happy mother's day to my mom and to all mommies out there. Nope it is not just one day to remember us by, it is everyday. But on this special day that we get to truly cherish the moments for being mommy, and make our mom feel more special than she already is.

When Ayesha became Amani

Somebody woke up and she's called herself Amani this morning. She was asking me, "Whose bottle is this?" I was asked to answer "Amani's". Then whenever we both call her 'Ayesha' or 'Kakak', she'll say "Amani lah...". Whatever got into her. I think she just decided to grow up overnight. Just like how she was when she decided to be diaper-free. Mommy loves you honey.